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Normalize that it’s okay to ask for help. In this episode, Kami Evans, community leader and Republican candidate for State Senate in District 26, joins us to discuss the critical role mental health plays in building a stronger, healthier community. Kami shares her passion for advocating mental health, supporting families, and fostering open conversations about emotional challenges, especially for young people facing the pressures of modern life. From the importance of listening to small moments to taking steps toward self-care, this conversation offers practical advice and inspiration for creating a supportive environment where everyone can thrive.

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Normalize Asking For Help: On Mental Health And Wellness With Kami Evans

Welcome to Normalize It Forward, the show that openly talks about mental health and wellness. We are here to welcome Kami Evans, a community leader and the Republican candidate for State Senate in District 26. Kami is not only committed to local control, public safety, and fiscal responsibility, but she’s also a very passionate advocate for mental health. She understands the critical role mental health plays in our community’s well-being and is determined to ensure that our schools, our families, and public services are provided with the necessary support they need. With a focus on supporting families with additional needs, enhancing education, and making sure every voice in District 26 is heard in Hartford, Kami is here to share her vision for a stronger and healthier community. Kami, welcome. It’s nice to see you. How are you?

I’m doing well. Thank you so much. I appreciate that wonderful opening. It’s incredibly important to me. I’m looking forward to this discussion.

Mental Health Of Young Adults

I am as well. This is such an important topic to be talking about, as both you and I are parents of young adults. Nowadays, there are so many young adults out there with mental health issues and struggles. I always point out as well that, as a therapist, there are young adults out there who have symptoms, even if they haven’t had an actual diagnosis, but they’re struggling with day-to-day stress and day-to-day doings. Let’s face it, it’s hard to be a teen nowadays.

When everybody is watching every move and sharing every post that has been filtered and managed, I wish there was an opportunity for there to be a campaign of like, “This is the real me. This is what I look like,” and normalizing that. I love what you’re doing because you’re getting the word out to have a conversation.

That’s so important.

 

 

It was wonderful the way the Olympics tackled mental health this year with Phelps and Simone Biles. People need to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to ask for support. Conversations need to be had before it’s too late.

It's okay to be okay. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to ask for support. Conversations need to be had before it's too late. Share on X

I love that genuine side they were able to put out there. Unfortunately, our community was touched by a tragedy. We lost a young adult. It’s a not-so-gentle reminder that we’re talking about these things for a good reason. When a young adult passes away, they’re permanently missing from our community. It’s that message of “This is why we do what we do.” There are people out there that are struggling.

There are people out there that aren’t saying anything and they need to be because you know what? There are plenty of good people out there who will help them and will understand, at the very least, simply listen. One of the biggest reasons why I named this podcast Normalize It Forward is I want people to understand that it is very normal. Statistically speaking, it’s normal to have emotional issues as a young person.

A lot of times I speak to my daughters about growing up in Stanford and the struggles and challenges I had. I’ve gone through them. I survived them and I managed it. I want them to know that the challenges they have or are experiencing, “You will get through them. Let’s give you better tools to cope. Let’s support you.”

I even tell them, “If you have a friend who needs to talk, make sure you’re available to talk.” If they need a grownup but don’t feel comfortable, I welcome them to come speak to me if they’d like to, or find a grownup that can help guide them. It’s a lot of trust to allow them to be vulnerable and share information that they’re not sure they can share. When we start sharing our stories and our conversations about things that we had success with and things we had challenges with, they realize, “Wow, really?” So far, they only have 16, 18, or 20 years of experience. That’s it.

We forget sometimes as adults that they don’t have a history in their heads of a time when phones didn’t exist or social media didn’t exist. We do, but they do not. The advantage in some ways that we have is we can see the impact of some of these things. I love what you said. All adults can make themselves available to young adults. You don’t have to be a therapist. You don’t have to be a skilled professional. If you can listen, which we all do, you can make yourself available. If more adults did what you said, we would have fewer kids suffering in silence.

I always tell my friends, “You have to listen to the small stuff.” Sometimes our kids are sharing things that may be a little random or things where you’re like, “Why are they telling me this?” It’s the gateway to share the big stuff, the heavy stuff. They’re trying to test the waters. You can’t just jump in the pool. You have to test the waters. Sometimes when my children or even their friends are talking, I’m listening. I’m not sure why they’re telling me that. Twenty minutes into it, they’re like, “By the way, this happened.” I’m like, “Okay.” I always tell my co-parent, myself, and my ex with my kids that we have to listen to the small stuff to get the big stuff.

Self-Care

I like the way you said that. One of the things I talk to a lot of young people about is self-care. I look at self-care in a certain way. It’s a topic that I feel people have access to, and people can choose to treat themselves properly or not. When I throw out the phrase self-care for a young adult, what does that mean to you, Kami?

For me, it’s taking a moment and looking inward. There are so many things we have access to in the state of Connecticut. There are so many things we have access to in America. If we take a moment to be grateful for those things to remind us of everything that we have, and then acknowledge that there will always be challenges. I never want to minimize somebody’s challenge or something that they’re going through, but if we do a little spot check like, “Okay, this is what’s going right. This is where I want to improve. Who can help me get there? What can I do to make myself feel good?”

I posted about going and seeing the horses just to get out of my head. With my campaign, there are a lot of moving parts. I’m not invincible. I’m human. There are days when I’m taking my dog for an extra long walk. I’m going to go. This poor dog’s going to be fit as a fiddle. We take that extra loop so I can put some space between myself and whatever is occupying my mind.

That’s such a great suggestion, take a moment. In this hustle-bustle world, you and I are always so busy, and so are most people nowadays. Take a moment. I’m watching kids that I work with. They’re moving into college, their schedules are changing, and their classes are picking up. Just like we do, they have the opportunity to take a moment and take that breath. If horses are your thing, great. If you like to go for a walk, go for that walk. If you like to do yoga, go do that. Take that moment because our brains need it. Our brains require it in many ways. Here’s the thing, Kami, and I know you know this. If we don’t do it for ourselves, nobody else will.

 

 

I tell my kids, “No one is going to love you more than you. I love you more than anything, but no one is going to look out for you more than yourself.”

No one's going to love you more than you. Share on X

That’s so important. In the world of young adults, certainly on the college level, anxiety and depression are at an all-time high these days, and so many kids aren’t able to pull back. As you said, Kami, take a breath, take a moment, and recognize that, in many cases, this too shall pass. This is a moment in our world. It may feel like a large moment. It’s a moment in the movie of our life. It’s a square and it’s going to pass.

Mental Health Care Tips

For young adults, that moment may feel anxiety-provoking and very depressing. As a parent and an advocate for mental health, when you think about things kids can do to help themselves, whether it be to relieve those symptoms or put a smile on their face, what’s your go-to? What do you recommend? What do you suggest?

Journaling is so important. This is one concept that I like to do with a lot of people. When I’m working, I always like to write everything that I’ve accomplished. That can even go as far back as learning to walk at eight months old or playing the flute. It could be anything. Sometimes we move so fast that we forget everything that we’ve accomplished. Rode a bike. I don’t care if you were 5 or 15 when you learned to ride a bike. You learned to do that.

Sometimes we move so fast, we forget everything that we've accomplished. Share on X

Put that all down on a sheet of paper and then you could even think about people who have motivated and inspired you. We’re on LinkedIn. There are a lot of very inspirational people on LinkedIn. Every now and then, I will comment on their posts. I’ll tag them or I’ll email them. Surprisingly, they get back. I’ve been communicating with Lydia Finette, who is an auctioneer. She’s written two books and she’s quite inspiring.

Even one time, Ariana Huffington. I was like, “When I grow up, I want to be on it.” She commented back. We’re all interconnected. Everybody that has had success, it’s not overnight. Everybody wants to help other people succeed. Why wouldn’t I want someone to succeed? I want everyone to do well. To be a part of that journey is incredibly exciting.

Your suggestion of writing is awesome. In some ways, it’s a lost art to put a pen to paper and be able to do that. I recommend it all the time to young people to get out of their heads. If young people aren’t interested in writing, they can always use their phones and dictate a journal. There are some great opportunities through apps to do that for a young person. I love that. It untangles the difficulties that the person might be dealing with. In addition, your comment about what we’ve achieved, big or small, is so important because we’ve all achieved something. We tend to overlook our achievements and wait for the next thing. It’s like, “Okay, I did this. Now what?”

Perfect examples are in the Olympics. When they were getting gold medals or whatever medals they were getting, people asked, “What are you going to do next?” I was so proud of them for saying, “Can I enjoy this?” Thank you. I would say, “I’m so proud of you for doing that,” and sit in that for a minute. We are so efficient. We are so fast. We’re able to do a lot of things in a very short amount of time. Because we have that capacity, we should indulge in self-care moments and opportunities. I have one friend who calls me about once a week to check-in. That inspires me to check in on other people too. It’s like, “I see you. I hear you. You are heard. I’m letting you know that I’m here.” It’s quite important. Check in not a text but an actual call. It’s perfect.

We live in this hustle-bustle world where we feel like we don’t have time to do that, but we do. We have time to do that. We have time to check in on people. Whether we’re a young adult or an older adult, that concept of checking in means the world to that person. You never know when we’re going to be in that position or where we need people to check in on us. That’s what makes the world go around, that human, that kindness piece. We can give kindness. We can give that. I feel like that’s part of wellness. I feel like being kind and giving that spirit off to people and realizing we can make the world a better place by checking in on others.

I always tell people, “A rising tide lifts all boats.” That’s all. If you do good, I do good. We’re all doing good. It’s great.

Approaching School

It’s hard to be a young person. I think it’s in what we’re doing in many of those cases. Let’s say I’m checking in on you or you’re checking in on me, Kami. We’re role-modeling for our kids to say, “Adults know how to do that. Kids can too.” It’s easier because they’re checking in through text. You can check in on your friends, especially if you know a friend is having a hard time. I see it all the time in my office. Hard times are being had by all. It’s difficult. It’s difficult being a young adult. We’re fast approaching the end of summer here. We’re fast approaching the beginning of the fall. How are your kids approaching school? How are they feeling about school starting up?

There are a lot of things that they need to do before school starts. Everybody has their summer reading and wrapping up. I told them, “Set up your rooms so you’re ahead of the game. Get into the rhythm of having things organized and peaceful for you.” I understand that a lot of times there’s comfort in the chaos for some reason for some kids because it’s more creative and there’s comfort. At least have a section to set up to have peace.

I moved to a very small house. I’m in an apartment. It’s 850 square feet, a cottage in Westport. I love it. It’s good because every single piece of this home has a purpose. The one thing I always tell my kids is, “Go with purpose. Make sure that everything you’re doing has a reason.” We lived in that 6,000 to 7,000 square foot home, with 200 pairs of shoes and everything, which is great. That’s beautiful for the people who have access to that. This is quite impactful here. I’m looking around because I’m in my house.

 

 

There’s one thing I can say about you, Kami. I was so excited when I heard you were running for District 26 because you represent change. I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years, and I haven’t seen someone go after change like you do. You tackle it. You have a spirit about you, and you care about people. I want to highlight that last one because not everybody does, and you do. You care about how other people do, whether other people are smiling or other people are doing well. If they’re not, you try to think of ways to help them. For that, I compliment you. I admire that aspect of you. For those voters who are tuning in, I want you guys to know who Kami is. You must understand that side. Kami, that’s unique and special. That’s important.

Thank you. I appreciate that. A lot of that has to do with having the opportunity to be on both sides of being applauded for whatever I did and also being isolated for whatever I did or whoever I am. To understand both sides of that spectrum is not lost on me. Running for State Senate is a heavy lift, but I’m doing what I continue to do, keep an eye on and look out for my communities. I appreciate that. Thank you. Hopefully, I get up to Hartford, and you and I will meet up.

I would love to. This has been awesome. I know you’re busy. I appreciate you taking some time out for my audience and talking about this vital topic of mental health and wellness. It’s something near and dear to me, and I watch people go through difficulties. I truly believe we’re all susceptible. Life is a bit of a roller coaster. We go through it sometimes, and there are times when we’re feeling stable.

I wanted to share that the kids are all going back to school, especially going off to university. I would like to encourage them to register to vote, but also get their support plan, especially going off for their freshman year. Get your support group of people. Find out how you can take care of yourself when you’re away from home. Even if you’re a star at home, you need to make sure you have that same level of support when you go off to school.

Good suggestion, Kami. It is so huge. Regarding the concept of the roller coaster, we can predict that people have difficulty at times when they’re away from home, and you don’t know when that’s going to happen. It could happen the first semester, it could happen later on. But you’re 100% right. Having a go-to, knowing where you can go when you experience some difficulties and need assistance is probably even more important than knowing your go-to.

It’s like rolling it back to the first step of being willing to ask for help because so many kids aren’t for lots of reasons. Let’s face it, we all need help from time to time. If students can get that concept and realize, “You know what? If I need help, here’s what I’m going to do. Here’s my plan.” What a great thought going into college because so many kids end up needing to use that plan. It’s important to have one in advance. 

In that vein, Normalize It Forward is a concept that I want to continue the conversation. I know that you’re always willing to have future conversations, Kami. I typically ask people to nominate a friend, a coworker, a relative, or someone who they think would be helpful to have on the show and continue to talk about mental health and wellness. Do you have somebody in mind that you’d like to recommend?

I think the woman who runs the gymnastics and training academy works with a lot of young adults. I think she has 250 coaches who work under her in three locations. Darcy Riehl Appleby, I will send her info. She’s phenomenal. I think that she is a good person to have a conversation about.

Certainly, someone who’s around a lot of young adults. I appreciate that and look forward to having Darcy on. We’ll talk about how to connect with her offline, but I appreciate your recommendation. I appreciate your time and energy. Kami, I’d like to wish you good luck with the process. We’re rooting for you up here in Northern Connecticut.

Thank you so much. I feel like I’m already winning because I’m in. You’re already winning. I appreciate that.

Have a wonderful day. Good to talk to you.

Take care. Bye.

 

Important Links

• Kami Evans – LinkedIn
  

 

About Kami Evans

Kami Evans is a community leader and the Republican candidate for State Senate in District 26.

Kami is not only committed to local control, public safety, and fiscal responsibility, but she’s also a passionate advocate for mental health.

She understands the critical role mental health plays in our community’s well-being and is determined to ensure that our schools, families, and public services provide the necessary support. With a focus on supporting families with additional needs, enhancing education, and making sure every voice in District 26 is heard in Hartford, Kami is here to share her vision for a stronger, healthier community.